Saturday, July 18, 2009


Oh, I long to hold you, rock you to sleep, give you a bottle, change your diapers, buy dresses for you, have princess parties, tea parties, talk endless hours about anything and everything but nothing in general. Go get ice cream cones at the store, and buy chicken nuggets, and happy meals, play with play dough, and blow bubbles together, to color at the table thousands of pictures together, to sit on the couch and read the Bernstein Bears, and watch cartoons together, and movies with Clayton and Poppa, to play with dolls, dress them up and undress them just to dress them again. WE would love to take you to the zoo, to Tweetsie, to the beach and even Disney World and anywhere else you would want to go that we could afford. My list could go on and on, and on of the things we could do together, and talk about. I would love to hear about your 1st real boyfriend and how wonderful that he was and how you would love no other but him. And to see you on your wedding day, glowing, beaming of your new life starting. But you are getting ready to start the best chapter of your life.

Poppa and I would love to take you and Clayton to church meetings with us, and to tell you about Jesus and how much He loves you. But soon and very soon you are going to get to see Jesus face to face and you are going to know more about Him than all of us do. You are made perfectly by Jesus just the way He wanted you to be. Even though our hearts break at the thought of you not being with us, we know that you are going to be with the Heavenly Father and it is you that will be waiting on us to come see you. And it is you that is going to have so much to share and tell us about when we get to our Eternal Home. And I reminded by the Lord it is about what He wants and not what I want. I must take "I" or "ME" out of the picture and let God work.


I purposely do not blog about Johanna often, because I feel like that is for her Mom, Nikki to do. I try to be very sensitive and careful of her feelings and needs. But there are many days that my heart is so heavy, and my eyes are filled with tears for my daughter and her daughter.


chadandnikki said...

That is so perfectly said. I know we're all gonna miss her when she leaves us. But, we're fortunate to get to see her, perfected, very soon. She has so much love, and that gives her Mommy a smile.

Preachersgirl3491 said...

This is so perfectly said. I love you.